EMULATE the SUNFLOWER

XMAS this year was a hard one for me. From the previous post you could see that I was already having a hard time getting in the mood and then when the day finnally came it just wasnt in the stars for Ryan and I. XMAS Eve we were invited by good friends from out ward to come over and have snacks and play games. It was a lot of fun and made it nice so that we werent alone. We got home around 9:00 and I had three messages from my dad letting us know that they were not going to be able to make it on XMAS since the weather out of Chicago was snowed in and they were flying standby. My heart sank as I was so sad because I was so looking forward to having them here for a little bit. It was late back home so I couldnt call until the next morning. XMAS morning I awoke to their call letting me know that there was no way out and that they were so sorry. I was so bummed since I had planned on pleasing my mother with making things from scratch like XMAS ham and apple pie. I had bought food for four ...

This is how I have felt the whole month of December! I know I know so terrible but I just couldnt seem to pull myself out of a slum and to get excited for the holidays.

TO BE A MOM!!!! I have dealt with a lot of doctors in the past four years. The last two years the number of blood tests, ultra sounds, and pelvic exams are so high I cant even count anymore. Having three miscarriages and two in the last year I have decided to step outside of the Western Medicine way and maybe try another way that is from the Chinese culture. I am all about natural things and my new doctors office is all about Homeopathic stuff along with the typical modern way of medicine. I finally have a doctor that will listen to me. The last 4 doctors have told me that I am fine and just need to keep trying and wanted to do nothing else but wait. I am not your typical girl with issues of not being able to get pregnant. Ryan is fine, ovulate same time every month and have a 28 day cycle! Every test that they can think of has been done and everything comes out normal. I sometimes wish that they could find something wrong so that I can have a reason to WHY, but I don't. This last ...