I am willing to try ANYTHING...................
TO BE A MOM!!!!
I have dealt with a lot of doctors in the past four years. The last two years the number of blood tests, ultra sounds, and pelvic exams are so high I cant even count anymore. Having three miscarriages and two in the last year I have decided to step outside of the Western Medicine way and maybe try another way that is from the Chinese culture.
I am all about natural things and my new doctors office is all about Homeopathic stuff along with the typical modern way of medicine. I finally have a doctor that will listen to me. The last 4 doctors have told me that I am fine and just need to keep trying and wanted to do nothing else but wait. I am not your typical girl with issues of not being able to get pregnant. Ryan is fine, ovulate same time every month and have a 28 day cycle! Every test that they can think of has been done and everything comes out normal. I sometimes wish that they could find something wrong so that I can have a reason to WHY, but I don't. This last month my doctor suggested to put me on baby asprin everyday, progestrone and to do accupucture to help reduce stress and my flow of Chi. For those of you who dont know what CHI is it is your bodies energy. I know it sounds kind of funny and crazy but at I am at a place where I am willing to try ANYTHING that may help.
I am terrified of needles!!!! I faint when I give blood and cry like I was 5 years old. THis whole experience has put me to the test of my fears. My first visit I held it together but my sweating belly gave it away. My doctor who does the accupucture is so nice and talks me through it. The needles dont really hurt but it does do a little prick and sometimes burning feeling. I orginally asked her to do pictures for me so that I could see what I look like since I have been having a hard time relaxing during the session and then thought it might be a good post to do as well. On Friday I went and it only took 10 min to calm my body down from confulsions and to be able to be calm and relaxed unlike the last two times where I couldnt relax at all!!! I am making progress. My doctor said that her goal is to come in and see me asleep or groggy! I think I have a long way before then!
I feel very blessed to be at this office. I dont do things with out really thinking about if it will be good for me. I feel that this is something that I need to do. The past month the thing I have noticed the most is that I am sleeping better. I have NEVER remembered dreams in the morning. I dont think I get into REM sleep. I am remembering my dreams and actually waking up in the morning feeling rested for the first time. I think that is huge since you need to have a good nights rest to be able to renew the body. I know I am going to be a mom someday, I am constantly trying to do what is right with my body to help. I have also started Yoga to help me relax since obviously I have huge issues. The doctor has a great track record of helping women get pregnant like me who seem to have everything going right but cant get pregnant or hold on to it so we shall see. I am optomistic and very prayerful that it will be my turn someday.
I have dealt with a lot of doctors in the past four years. The last two years the number of blood tests, ultra sounds, and pelvic exams are so high I cant even count anymore. Having three miscarriages and two in the last year I have decided to step outside of the Western Medicine way and maybe try another way that is from the Chinese culture.
I am all about natural things and my new doctors office is all about Homeopathic stuff along with the typical modern way of medicine. I finally have a doctor that will listen to me. The last 4 doctors have told me that I am fine and just need to keep trying and wanted to do nothing else but wait. I am not your typical girl with issues of not being able to get pregnant. Ryan is fine, ovulate same time every month and have a 28 day cycle! Every test that they can think of has been done and everything comes out normal. I sometimes wish that they could find something wrong so that I can have a reason to WHY, but I don't. This last month my doctor suggested to put me on baby asprin everyday, progestrone and to do accupucture to help reduce stress and my flow of Chi. For those of you who dont know what CHI is it is your bodies energy. I know it sounds kind of funny and crazy but at I am at a place where I am willing to try ANYTHING that may help.
I am terrified of needles!!!! I faint when I give blood and cry like I was 5 years old. THis whole experience has put me to the test of my fears. My first visit I held it together but my sweating belly gave it away. My doctor who does the accupucture is so nice and talks me through it. The needles dont really hurt but it does do a little prick and sometimes burning feeling. I orginally asked her to do pictures for me so that I could see what I look like since I have been having a hard time relaxing during the session and then thought it might be a good post to do as well. On Friday I went and it only took 10 min to calm my body down from confulsions and to be able to be calm and relaxed unlike the last two times where I couldnt relax at all!!! I am making progress. My doctor said that her goal is to come in and see me asleep or groggy! I think I have a long way before then!
I feel very blessed to be at this office. I dont do things with out really thinking about if it will be good for me. I feel that this is something that I need to do. The past month the thing I have noticed the most is that I am sleeping better. I have NEVER remembered dreams in the morning. I dont think I get into REM sleep. I am remembering my dreams and actually waking up in the morning feeling rested for the first time. I think that is huge since you need to have a good nights rest to be able to renew the body. I know I am going to be a mom someday, I am constantly trying to do what is right with my body to help. I have also started Yoga to help me relax since obviously I have huge issues. The doctor has a great track record of helping women get pregnant like me who seem to have everything going right but cant get pregnant or hold on to it so we shall see. I am optomistic and very prayerful that it will be my turn someday.
Comments
Wow! You are a brave girl! I get sick just looking at the pictures of those needles!!! I hope this works for you! I know how bad you want a baby, and I want you to have one!!! I'm sure things will work out soon! I miss you...Are you coming next month???
Love ya bunches!
It seems like I haven't seen you in ages! It looks like you had a fun Thanksgiving. The pictures are gorgeous!
I hope the accupuncture/CHI works for you. My sisters (and mom) all had fertility issues and they have told me how frustrating and painful the struggle can be to get pregnant. I'll remember you in my prayers!
The Wait Poem
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate…
and the Master so gently said,”Wait.”
“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign.
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You’d never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still “WAIT”.