XMAS

XMAS this year was a hard one for me. From the previous post you could see that I was already having a hard time getting in the mood and then when the day finnally came it just wasnt in the stars for Ryan and I. XMAS Eve we were invited by good friends from out ward to come over and have snacks and play games. It was a lot of fun and made it nice so that we werent alone. We got home around 9:00 and I had three messages from my dad letting us know that they were not going to be able to make it on XMAS since the weather out of Chicago was snowed in and they were flying standby. My heart sank as I was so sad because I was so looking forward to having them here for a little bit. It was late back home so I couldnt call until the next morning. XMAS morning I awoke to their call letting me know that there was no way out and that they were so sorry. I was so bummed since I had planned on pleasing my mother with making things from scratch like XMAS ham and apple pie. I had bought food for four people for 5 days and how were Ryan and I going to eat everything before it goes bad. We had so many fun things planned to do with them and I had the whole time off paid! I wanted to show them our house and all around Phoenix! Needless to say a big downer to add to my already grinch mood. I went back to sleep and woke up around 9:45 and got Ryan up to open presents. The magic is sure gone with XMAS when it is just two adults. Ryan got me a beautiful saphire pendent necklace and these black pearl necklaces from an island in Tonga. I was so shocked, he always does well in the romantic part. He loved his gifts I got him ( flannel shirt, vans, and sports illustrated renewed subsrciption). I made the family tradition of waffles, strawberries, whip cream and sausage for breakfest.Ryan loved that one. After that I just couldnt put a smile on my face. I guess even though I try to be strong I have breaking points and holidays always bring that out. It was hard for it to be our 6th XMAS together and still be just a family of two and with my parents not there it just sealed the deal. Ryan was so sweet and I look back and feel so guilty for being down. I wasnt in the mood for talking to anyone so I took a five hour nap and then woke up thinking that we could go catch a movie together. Well all the movies were sold out except SPIRIT. We didnt want to see that one. We headed home and watched HOME ALONE, a good one, a classic. I ended my XMAS day filled with guilt as I ruined it! Why couldnt I have just enjoyed what I do have and not wish for what I dont. I guess we all fall sometimes.

Yesterday I made our XMAS dinner and had some dear friends come over and eat it. I had never cooked a ham before and I think that it turned out ok. I took a picture of the pie I made. Not the best looking crust but I think my mother would have been proud!