September 5, 1980

September 5 comes around once every year and I swear every year it comes faster and faster and the last few years I have not wanted it to come because it just meant I was one year older and getting closer to the big 30 and still just a family of two.

This September 5 brought the number 29 and I was expecting to be in my bed recovering from a simple out-patient surgery that was suppose to bring some light into the unknown of what causes me to not be able to sustain a little one. Due to insurance issues and them not covering fertility and even though I have proof of other medical conditions that it isnt related to fertility and along with my tears it came up with a BIG FAT NO for a laproscopy! So as I cried my eyes out and threw my hands up, after all I have tried almost everything that I can possible think of: Accupuncture, Chriopractor, Fertility Doctor, Folic Acid, tests after tests and then the doctor thinks she can help by surgery and I hit a brick wall due to not being able to have it, I feel this PEACE come over me! The kind of peace where you are stopped in your tracks still and feel so comforted and you dont want to move because it feels so good! I am sure you have all felt it! I have prayed for it to stay with me cause it is sustaining me. Even today this peace continues to be with me! I can not be sad but feel that everything is going to be ok! I dont know what that means but I have to keep moving forward step by step and trust! I continue to listen to the spirit to help me to know what the next steps are for Ryan and I. I know they will come and I pray that I will be able to hear them and know what to do.

Since I was suppose to be in bed all weekend Ryan had not planned on anything for my birthday. When we found out for sure it wasnt going to happen it was too late to plan to go to Vegas or California. Ryan also has been slammed with work and has been working 3 in the morning till 5 at night and told me he couldnt get away from work this weekend. I was ok with it- I mean who wants to celebrate being 29 anyways!!!! Not me!!!!

Since I had planned on no kids for work I had Friday off and hung around at the house. I wasnt feeling that great, felt a cold coming on so I laid around. Ryan came home around three and told me to pack my bags and be ready for a RELAXING weekend for my birthday! I was like WHAT? He said lets go! So I packed my bags and we set off to my surprise birthday getaway!!!

He took me to CareFree Resorts and Villas. It is a little town north of Scottsdale way up in the Hills full of trails, lakes, cactus, and stars! It was so cool!




After getting settled in the Resort we then went into the town next to Carefree called Cave Creek for dinner and it was a old west town that reminded me of Jackson Hole! I loved it!!!


We walked around for a little bit and then picked this Mexican Restaruant to eat at! The food was all allthentic and was AMAZING!!! The waitress found out it was my birthday weekend and brought out a big bowl of fried ice cream on the house for me!

Of course I couldnt eat it but I did have the yummy strawberries all around it and as you can see Ryan finished it off for me!

Then I was sung to by a wonderful singer while he played his guitar Happy Birthday and then again in Spanish!! It was so sweet!!!

Sat morning I woke up early and laid in bed thinking of my life the past 29 years and everything that I had and had been blessed with. I think sometimes I get a little carried away with the things I dont have and want so bad but forget what the Lord has blessed me with and what I have been able to do on this earth so far in the 29 years. It made it a lot easier and made me so happy and so thankful!

My birthday was very relaxing. We got up went to breakfast around 9:30 came back and laid down and feel asleep till 1. I think both Ryan and I have been so emotionally drained that we both needed this getaway! We woke up and then went exploring on all the trails and then drove down to the lake! It was so beautiful! I know that some have a hard time thinking the desert is beautiful but we think it is!

Here is the Old West decor infront of someones ranch on the trails! I thought it was pretty cool!

Here are some pictures of the Lake



We then headed back to the resort and got ready to go eat for my birthday dinner! Yum Yum Sushi here we COME!!!! I have told Ryan about SAPPARO for a few years since I would go there all the time with my co-workers in vegas! He was just as excited as i was!!!

Ryan doesnt like it when I take pictures in restaurants so here is one off the interent of what the food looked like! DELICIOUS!!!!!

After dinner we went to Old Downtown Scottsdale and walked around! I love Indian Trading Posts so we spent a lot of time there!



Here is what really made my day special and that Ryan wanted to be with me! THose of you who know him WELL......he is a MAJOR MAJOR Washington Huskies FAN!!!! His boys were playing LSU that night and he was fine just being with me doing what I wanted to do and ok with missing the game! It really meant a lot!!!! He LOVES me so much!!!

After walking around we went and got a Chocolate Oreo Mudslide Cheesecake from the Cheese Cake Factory. I had only a few bites cause well you know! But is was worth it!

and since Ryan was such a sweet boy I told him we could take it to go and go back to the hotel and watch the final quarter of the Husky Game!


Sunday morning we got up and took some fun shots around the resort! It was all western and Indian and I loved it!




As the weekend came to a close I was so happy with the surprise and the opprotunity to be with Ryan! It was so nice to be away and do nothing but be with one another! He is such a romantic and is always thinking of me! It was just what I needed!!!!