When one door closes shut there is always a window that is opened

This is really LONG and sorry mostly words but those of you who like to read my spiritual posts continue on because this is a big one!

Just before Christmas Ryan and I were told about a possible adoption opportunity. We had talked about adopting in the past but had not done anything about it due to well.............. I cant really say. With this new opportunity of, just by chance my waiting to be a mom could be over, brought lots of emotions of excitement, joy, worry, anxiety, hope, and so many more. We needed to get our acts together right away in the process since the potential birth mom was due in May. Ryan's mom has a dear friend working for LDS services here in Washington and got us set up right away to get started on all the paperwork, online stuff, and going about getting all the background checks and homestudy done. We have done a lot and have moved forward in faith always asking if this is meant to be then let it happen. I did not want to have a baby that was not meant to be ours. I trust the Lords plan for us and he knows best. BUT........of course in my heart was hoping that it would be right..........who wouldnt? A chance to be a mom! I have wanted and waited for this my whole life!

It has been a week now that we were told that it wasnt right and that the baby was not meant for us! I trusted the birthmom and felt her sweet spirit as she tried to tell me over the phone knowing the disappointment that would come from her words. I have grown to love her so much as we have communicated a ton over the past several months! She is one choice daughter and I know that with out a doubt the feelings and impressions that she received were right and thank her for doing the right thing. I pray for the parents that do receive this special baby and I am excited in their excitement as it is their time to have a little one!

Now don't get me wrong both Ryan and I were pretty upset. We were pretty hopeful and dealing with yet another disappointment after the recurrent loses is not fun and can take you emotionally down. We both held each other for quite sometime. I KNOW that our family that is waiting to come is with us! They have too! We both have felt so carried and have felt such peace and we continue to go forward in faith. We are going to continue the pursuit in LDS services since we have already started the process and who knows.............maybe it was what we needed to get the process started where before we would not have. NO matter what I feel the guidance of the spirit and know that the Lord is in charge and leading the way.

When it comes my title that was my door shutting and here is my window opening!

As you all know or most of you I suffer from issues of the digestive system. Almost two years ago I did a post about all the supplements I take and all the efforts I have tried to get a hold of my stomach problems ( to put it nicely). It has helped along with me eating pretty much as healthy as I can but I still suffer from things. Even with taking the FOLBIC, I am still struggling with feeling chronically tired as well. The past few months I have had many people approach me with articles or shows with doctors talking about Celiac Disease. They would tell me they are linking this disease to recurrent miscarriages and tell me since I have dealt with that and I already have the digestion issues they talk about I think this is you! I have thought about it before in the past but to be honest I LOVE BREADS and PASTA and really I CRAVE it all the time!!!! ALL MY LIFE HAS BEEN ABOUT BREAD AND ROLLS!!!! So needless to say I have let it slip by and IGNORED it. In the past few weeks I have had the impression that I need to look more into it. I have been concentrating on so many other things like hoping for a baby I just brushed it off!

Ryan's aunt came to visit on Thursday ( just a few days after we heard the news)she did some tests on my and found me out to be CELIAC and to top it off I have a CANDIDA problem!!!

HMMMMM what does all of this mean.





I thought I would do a check list of symptoms of Celiac for you:


Gastrointestinal-Related Symptoms of Celiac Disease

•Diarrhea
•Constipation-CHECK
•Chronic indigestion- CHECK
•Chronic bloating-CHECK
•Poor appetite
•Abdominal cramping, pain, and distention.CHECK
•Mouth ulcers
•Lactose intolerance- BIG CHECK

Malabsorption-Related Symptoms of Celiac Disease
The flattening of the villi and other changes in the small intestine impair its ability to absorb nutrients, minerals and fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, and K). Signs and symptoms of malabsorption include:


•Weight loss
•Failure to thrive/stunted growth in children- As a child I was so skinny
•Fatigue- CHECK
•Anemia-CHECK
•Osteopenia or osteoporosis- CHECK
•Abnormal coagulation due to deficiency of vitamin K
•Bacterial overgrowth of the small intestine- CHECK= CANDIDA

Other Symptoms of Celiac Disease

•Dermatitis herpetiformis (a specific type of extremely itchy rash, sometimes called a "gluten rash") _
•Unexplained short stature
•Delayed puberty- CHECK- didnt start till I was a senior
•Infertility- CHECK
•Recurrent miscarriage- UMM.... 8 miscarriages seem to fit in this category
•Dental enamel abnormalities
•Autoimmune endocrine disorders, including thyroid disease
•Depression and anxiety- DEALT WITH IT MY WHOLE LIFE
•Mood swings or split personality- CHECK


I did the word CHECK by the ones that apply to me! I was so shocked to see and mad at myself for not doing something about it sooner!

Now is not the time to get upset with what I didn't do but go forward with the knowing that the findings and impressions were correct and I need to do this to get my body healthy and well!

I am so excited to see what a few months will do and how I will feel! The process is not going to be easy especially since I need to get rid of Candida!



Candida is a yeast in the body that when it gets to be way too much does serious damage to the body

Some of the most frequent Candida symptoms are:

abdominal gas and bloating- CHECK

headaches- CHECK
migraines

excessive fatigue-CHECK
cravings for alcohol

anxiety-CHECK

vaginitis

cravings for sweets-ALL THE TIME

inability to think clearly or concentrate-CHECK

hyperactivity

mood swings-CHECK

diarrhea

constipation-CHECK

itching-check

acne- LATELY HAS BECOME MORE OF A PROBLEM I hate being almost 30 and having issues!!!

eczema- ALL OVER MY LEGS AND ARMS

depression-CHECK

sinus inflammation- CAN YOU SAY AT LEAST 2-4 times a year I have an infection

pre-menstrual syndrome

dizziness- ALL the Time

poor memory- HAVE TO WRITE MY THINGS TO REMEMBER ON MY HAND FOR THE DAY

persistent cough- KNOWN AS THE BARK
earaches

low sex drive- As embarrassing as this is THIS IS ME!!!

cold hands or feet- Check


To get rid of the CANDIDA it is quite the process. I have to go on a sugar free diet. Not just a no candy sweets diet but a no carb or fruit diet too since they have sugar as well. So it is going to be a vegetable and protein diet for a few months and then after it is cleared I will be on the GLUTEN FREE CASEIN FREE DIET! Ryan's cousin went on it and lost about 20 pounds!! I pray that wont be the case for me.......I don't really have 20 pounds to lose. The hopeful thing to look at is after trying for a long time as well and a couple of miscarriages she did end up pregnant after it was clear and now is due in two weeks. Not that it may help me in the same way but it does give me HOPE and help me to keep my head held high and moving forward that which ever way we are going to have our family we are doing all that we can! Oh and I forgot to mention that Ryan and his family are supporting me and his mom is trying to cook just for me!

I think I have finally found the answer to my 30 year problem! I feel blessed to have been lead and guided to these new findings and hope to see the results from it!!! I hope to report in the future the findings of doing these diets!!! I also cant deny the loving hand of Heavenly Father quietly guiding me from one thing to another and putting the peices together to make my body healthy. It has been a long process of tests, chriopractor, Folbic findings, and now this but sure is worth it!

Wish me LUCK as I strive TO FIGHT my OVER WHELMING CRAVINGS of SUGAR

Comments

Hayley said…
I am glad you found an answer to your health problems. I hope you have the best of luck on fighting your sugar cravings. You can do it!
daegan said…
KARMANN!!!

HOLY MOLY! i tried writing you a message on FB and it was going psycho!!! so how are you? a few days ago i got reading through your blog... and i thought DING! another thing we have in common is health/stomach/skin issues! i have struggled with them my WHOLE life. the FIRST thing that came to mind with your issues was "celiac". my grandma was diagnosed with it some years ago. from so much research i completely tied my symptoms with celiac. my mom says i've always had a candida problem too. she's always been in the herb field.

so... first of all i wish you the best of luck! it is definitely challenging and takes a large amount of planning and preparing. before i got pregnant with domino my symptoms were worsening and getting SO bad! my skin was breaking into the DH- bumpy itchiness more and more. and i finally decided to take on the celiac lifestyle. i was faithful 100% (since you cannot cheat at all) for about 6 months... and then i got pregnant. i got so terribly ill and barfed so much and couldn't eat a thing. i finally caved, watching a woman on tv eat this GIANT sandwich and i cried and cried because i would have given my left arm for one at that point. my sweet charlie made me one and i cried even more. but from that point on i had to eat what i could to survive through the pregnancy. i ended up feeling fantastic and eating whatever i wanted with very minimal reactions... (perhaps the hormone change and the babies needs, healed that temporarily?)even nursing was being good... well, at the beginning. and now i can see my symptoms falling back into place HARD as domino's demmand for milk is lessening. OHHHHH i am so sad. i love food so much.

i hope that following through this new lifestyle will help you and your body be healthy. we'll have to talk more so i can give you a few pointers. and with the candida thing... do you have to do that temporarily or forever? i know you can sometimes overcome the lactose intolerancy problem by laying off of it for a while.

well dear, this turned out a little lengthy. but we will get together to discuss more of our alikes and dislikes hopefully soon!
xoxo
Amy & Scott said…
K- Our thoughts and prayer are constantly with you two and your family. We think about you both often and wish the VERY best for you guys. That being said, I am going to compile a list of Gluten Free recipes that we like in our household to send your way. I have also had to find some tricks of the "Gluten Free" living trade with Scott. Such as,. . . . Progresso makes a mushroom soup that I use as our 'cream of mushroom'. It is the only Gluten-Free cream of anything I trust that tastes somewhat good in receipes. Also, the best Gluten Free flours that I have purchased are from Authentic Foods. Visit their website it is awesome, sometimes you can find their products in the store. We sure love you guys and hope that we can see you soon. I will try my hardest to get those recipes to you soon because they are mainly veggie with some sort of protein source recipes, which sounds like just what you need. Good luck, you are amazing!!!
Taylors said…
Oh, Karman! I am so sad for what you went through with your adoption attempt, but I am so filled with HOPE at your new medical diagnosis! You may be finally getting to the bottom of your medical/fertility struggles after all these years of trying! I am so happy for you, and I pray that this is the answer! You deserve to be a mom SO much! I am so excited for you, and I am rooting for you in your new challenge to maintain your diet restrictions. I know you can do it! Good luck, and you will be in our prayers!!!
Heather Ridge said…
I hope this diet will help. I know a lot of people with Celiac and those who follow a strict diet say it makes all the world of difference. Sorry to hear about the adoption. Sending postive, healthy, good vibes your way!
Tawni Williams said…
Oh I hope so much this is it for you! I'm so happy you've found some answers...
Drake Family said…
Karm,
First of all I am sorry to hear that the adoption didn't work out for you guys, but you are probably right...maybe it just wasn't meant to be as much as you don't want to hear that. You have such a strong spirit about you and you are such an example to us all, at least I can say that for me. You always seem to have undeniable faith and strength even though I know this can not be easy for you. You are amazing!
I am glad that you got some answers to what is going on with you. You have hard some many problems it seems, but at least you are getting to the bottom of it. So you have me a little worried now...looking over your check list I have quite a few (most) of those symptoms. Is it something I should look into? And speaking of the sweet tooth thing...I recently tried giving up sugar (just this sweets, not bread, etc.) and only lasted 2 days. By day 3, I was tearing up the house looking for ANYTHING!
Best of luck with things. I love ya. And yes I did get your message of you returning my call. One of these days we will chat! I love ya to death.
Alli
(aka your pickle!)
Julie said…
Wow, Karmann, no one should have to deal with as many health issues as you have! And you have such an optimistic attitude about it, which is so amazing and impressive. Good luck with the new diet - I'll be praying for you!

I'm so glad that you've been comforted and supported in your times of trial. I know the Lord is watching over you and I keep praying for you! Love you lots!
Jo Lynn said…
Ya know, now that you've discovered this it fits you to a tee!!! Wow Karm, that is so wonderful...I actually went on a gluten free diet, lost weight, felt better about myself, had more energy and my body felt like it was cleansed of all the nasty stuff. I should probably go back to that, but wow Karm I'm so proud of you...that has to got to be so tough and how sweet that Ryan's Mom is catering to you! I loved the story of how this could make it so you STOP having miscarriages...that would be incredible! Yeah, I put your name in the temple and pray for you always! I was devastated to hear you aren't getting that sweet baby, but you are so right about that baby needing to go to the right home! I love you so much Karm, you are beautiful and so strong and can get through anything...you've come so far! The end has got to be getting close, keep us posted on your diet! I love you girl!
Karmann...I love your hopeful attitude. It really makes me want to be a better person! I know that with a door closing your dreams of being a mother WILL happen in one way or another. I hope that this new diet will not only help with your symptoms, but also help with getting you pregnant! I will do a major happy dance when you call me to tell me (please call). I love you and miss you!
Adlee got ahold of my phone and broke it.... (awhile ago)so I didn't get any of your texts or a call! I want to chit chat soon!! Call me when you have time! I don't even have your # anymore....it was lost in my old phone :(
Good luck on the diet!! Stay away from any store....the Easter candy is way to tempting :)
Stacy said…
Wow! That is all a lot to take in! That is sure a hard diet! I guess your motivation will be feeling better, but it seems like every time I turn around someone else is being diagnosed with celiacs! Crazy!
Blanchards said…
Wow Karmann...that is hard to even read about. I hope you know how incredible you are and how much I look up to your endurance for everything. It makes me feel pretty pathetic in comparison. I am so happy that you have a direction now and better days are ahead. I know it is true. You are amazing my friend. I love you and send you my best. Love, Rach
Maureen said…
Oh Karmann - you have had a tough few years and this year has not given you a break yet!! It is really good that you are getting more answers, though. I really hopes this works for you in every way possible!! You deserve it! Good Luck -- I'll be thinkin of you!
Maureen
sunshine said…
Good luck Karmann! You can definitely do this! My sister tried getting preggers for years, then she finally changed her diet. Went all healthy, and is still healthy to this day. Little to no sugar or white flour for her and her THREE kids! Every time before she gets pregnant she has a major cleanse. Eats salads every day, drinks tons of water, and wa-lah, gets pregnant! I have a feeling this might do the trick for you guys! YOU CAN DO IT!!
Elder Jake Zebe said…
Karmann, our Heavenly Father must have some very valiant spirits that He is waiting to send to you and Ryan. You have been through so much and your example touches and teaches those you with whom you so openly share. You are amazing and I feel so blessed to know you! Love you!
Barb
Deanna said…
Hey girlfriend! I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you with the baby! But I know Heavenly Father has a plan for you...it's just frustrating sometimes figuring out what that plan is huh!
And Holy Cow! I am so glad you are getting your diet figured out and so many questions answered! Good luck with the new diet! You are amazing for being able to do it.
Miss you & love ya!!!
Deanna said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley said…
Holy cow, that's amazing! What a great thing to know that you can actually fix all those issues. Lots of people live with all those symptoms because it's so hard to put them all together to find an overall problem instead of treating each individual symptom. I don't envy you the diet, but how great will it be to feel good and maybe get things moving in the baby department too... :)We miss you!
Alyson said…
Oh, it's so nice to finally have some answers to move forward with! I honestly can't believe how similar our situations are...I wish we lived closer! I've also struggled with Candida and am trying to get it under control as well. Have you done pro-biotics? Good luck with everything. Can't wait to hear how it goes!
Nancy and Nate said…
I'm sorry you have had to go through so much but your faith and determination inspire me. I truly look up to you. I hope things just keep getting better for you.

Did you know Sharon's boy Isaac has celiac? You should get in touch with her. She has LOTS of recipes and stuff. Good luck. I Love You!
Wendy said…
Whoa! This is actually very good news for you! I'm so happy for you! I have a friend whose daughter has celiac. She never ever could gain weight and they finally figured out why. Anyway, the whole family eats a gluten free diet and I asked her if it is hard. She actually said no. Once you get the hang of it it's not bad at all. And she said you figure out what restaurants prepare gluten free meals and that there really are a lot of options out there. Even better, she said her husband lost like 20 pounds and they all are a lot healthier. I really hope this helps you. Now you can really treat the cause of the problems vs the symptoms. Good luck with the diet. I KNOW you can do it. Love you!

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