Following an unwanted Prompting..........Leads me down YET another ROAD!
If you refer back to my S.O.S. post you will recall me telling you about the WONDERFUL, LOVING, TENDER ob/gyn that I went too!!
The one that left me feeling ALONE and even more insecure of myself! I swore up and down that I WOULD NOT go back to her and that I needed to be on a search for a new doctor.
As I was asking a lot of my families on my caseloads who they liked and where I should go I would attempt to make phone calls and never felt right about seeing any of them.
I kept feeling prompted that I NEEDED to go back to the MEAN doctor again! I needed to hear what she had to say once she saw all my medical records from AZ.
WHY?
NO!
WHY would you want me to go through another HORRIBLE experience again!!??
I don't think I could take another visit like I had had with her!
I then gave a proposal to Heavenly Father. Fine if I am suppose to see her I will give her ONE chance! I will listen to her IDEAS of what to do with my fertility issues and if I don't like what she has proposed then that was IT!
I would be done with her!
I sent for my records three weeks before I made my appointment. One day before I was to meet with the doctor the records still hadn't showed up! I called the Fertility Clinic in AZ and they were just being slow. I told them I had an appointment the next afternoon and would not be seeing the doctor unless those records were there!
One hour before I was to be seen the records were not there yet! I had called and had done my part!
I was smiling inside because I kept thinking...........
Well if those records don't get there then I am not suppose to meet with that MEAN doctor and I can walk away thinking...I tried!!!
I prayed the whole way to the doctors office - H.F. if I am meant to see her then have the records there but if I am NOT suppose to PLEASE don't have the records there!!!
I walk in the door and see my Mother in Law on the couch. She had come to be in the room with me and be a support.
I walk to the front desk.
Heart is pounding and in my head a PLEA of
PLEASE don't be there PLEASE don't be there!!!
Hi Karmann, We have GREAT news! Your records just arrived. Dr. will be with you shortly!!!
My heart sank, I wanted to cry, I guess I am suppose to see her!
K. Heavenly Father I guess I am suppose to see her, please let this be worth it! Please let it be OK! I am still trying to heal my heart from the last visit!
I walk into the room with my Mother in Law and the Dr. meets me with a BIG smile and is so NICE!
She goes over the medical records and tells me that I have done all the tests that she would have suggested to be done.
She then gets pretty angry and tells me how mad she is at the Fertility Specialist in AZ. She was so mad that my treatments were all about getting me pregnant!
The doctor turns and says to me- Getting pregnant is not your problem, it is staying pregnant. I don't understand why she was not looking at you differently!
She then looks at me and says, Sweetie I want to go a TOTALLY different route. My job is to figure out WHY you miscarry not help you get pregnant.
Sweetie, I think you have an AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER. I have a best friend/colleague in California who specializes in these particular disorders and I am going to contact him and have him tell me what needs to be done and then we will go from there. I will be in contact with you in a week or so. I promise, I will have a PLAN to go forward to get you ANSWERS!
I left the office with my mother in law and we both just looked at each other in the elevator and was in shock.
I tell her- I promise she was not like that the last time
I promise I wasn't making it up that she was so rude and mean
I cant believe the change towards me and how she treated me
I cant believe that she has a different look and idea for me
I am so happy she BELIEVES me and wants to help me
As I drive home I couldn't help but think about the first experience and then the second. I then realized that she probably had a bad day and was probably frustrated that she didn't have any records.
I think I caught her on a bad day and it wasn't by accident- I needed her to be abrupt, short, curt or I wouldn't have done anything about the Depression. It was a blessing!
I got a call a couple of weeks ago about how Ryan and I needed to have some extensive blood work done. The blood work would be drawn here but needed to be sent to California to the colleague of my Doctors since he has one of the only labs here in the Western United States to do these kinds of testing. The lab lady gives me the number of the lab and tells me if I have any questions to call them. If the insurance company didn't pay for it, it would be WAY to expensive for Ryan and I to do it.
I then go to Heavenly Father and say ok- if we are suppose to have these tests done I need the insurance to pay for the tests. I then start researching what we need to have done and come across this website. It goes into detail of the tests that they are going to run and how this Doctor has developed these therapies and it has only been around since the 1990's. I then see that the Dr. was based out of California I then realize- This website is the place I am sending my lab work and the Doctor that is friends with my Doctor!
I waited over the weekend to call and Monday morning I call the insurance company and give them all the codes. My heart is pounding and I am hoping that it is a no go. Of course, the insurance company will pay for the blood work and the doctor in California is covered by the insurance as well.
This past Thursday Ryan and I went and had the blood drawn and I FEDEX the blood work overnight to the Dr.'s office in California. We should know the results by the end of the month.
They are looking at cellular immunity in me and tissue typing with Ryan and I. It all has to do antibodies.
Here is the website: If you want more information
http://www.rialab.com/miscarriages_prevented.php
Read the first part of the page and the when you are finished with the part about Immune System scroll down to
Antinuclear Antibodies
the part above this one is not me. I have been tested for that and I don't have that particular problem. Everything Else below Antinuclear Antibodies is however what they are looking into and seems to be right on.
It is VERY technical so I had to read it a couple of times.
As I dropped off the blood work on Thursday I sat in my car and cried! I was so overwhelmed by the spirit. I am 99.% sure that this is my problem. I am excited to FINALLY have answers but I am so very scared and nervous about the treatments that will entail if this is my thing. The treatments are not easy and very scary. It entails blood transfusions and lots of needles.
On a positive note, the treatments have VERY high success rate. 80% of the women who have this problem after treatment carry a baby to full term and have their dream of being a mother fulfilled.
I know that it cant be by accident that I felt prompted to go and see that OBGYN again and it is NOT by accident that the OBGYN just happens to be Best Friends with this doctor who specializes in what just might be wrong with me.
I am going down YET another road! I feel that this journey just keeps going and going and going.
Sounds like the ENERGIZER BUNNY!!!
I keep praying for lots of comfort, peace, and extra faith to be just like that pink bunny so that I can
KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING until the road ends and I can get that little one in my arms that has tried so many times to come to this earth and who I feel is being so patient as I strive to do all that I can to bring him here.
At times I wish I had the easy way, I wish I could be like most people I know who look at one another and get pregnant. I had hoped that this weekend would have brought me news of being pregnant so I wouldn't have to continue on!
I am so tired and somewhat emotionally drained.
But
It is not my plan. For some reason I am meant to not be pregnant yet and I need to continue down this road.
The next 10 days are going to be LONG and I pray that they will go fast! If you have a chance during the next few weeks please say a prayer for me. I will need it.
Not knowing is making my heartache and my head worry. I pray for the spirit to uplift and carry me.
I will keep you posted once I get the results and next steps!
The one that left me feeling ALONE and even more insecure of myself! I swore up and down that I WOULD NOT go back to her and that I needed to be on a search for a new doctor.
As I was asking a lot of my families on my caseloads who they liked and where I should go I would attempt to make phone calls and never felt right about seeing any of them.
I kept feeling prompted that I NEEDED to go back to the MEAN doctor again! I needed to hear what she had to say once she saw all my medical records from AZ.
WHY?
NO!
WHY would you want me to go through another HORRIBLE experience again!!??
I don't think I could take another visit like I had had with her!
I then gave a proposal to Heavenly Father. Fine if I am suppose to see her I will give her ONE chance! I will listen to her IDEAS of what to do with my fertility issues and if I don't like what she has proposed then that was IT!
I would be done with her!
I sent for my records three weeks before I made my appointment. One day before I was to meet with the doctor the records still hadn't showed up! I called the Fertility Clinic in AZ and they were just being slow. I told them I had an appointment the next afternoon and would not be seeing the doctor unless those records were there!
One hour before I was to be seen the records were not there yet! I had called and had done my part!
I was smiling inside because I kept thinking...........
Well if those records don't get there then I am not suppose to meet with that MEAN doctor and I can walk away thinking...I tried!!!
I prayed the whole way to the doctors office - H.F. if I am meant to see her then have the records there but if I am NOT suppose to PLEASE don't have the records there!!!
I walk in the door and see my Mother in Law on the couch. She had come to be in the room with me and be a support.
I walk to the front desk.
Heart is pounding and in my head a PLEA of
PLEASE don't be there PLEASE don't be there!!!
Hi Karmann, We have GREAT news! Your records just arrived. Dr. will be with you shortly!!!
My heart sank, I wanted to cry, I guess I am suppose to see her!
K. Heavenly Father I guess I am suppose to see her, please let this be worth it! Please let it be OK! I am still trying to heal my heart from the last visit!
I walk into the room with my Mother in Law and the Dr. meets me with a BIG smile and is so NICE!
She goes over the medical records and tells me that I have done all the tests that she would have suggested to be done.
She then gets pretty angry and tells me how mad she is at the Fertility Specialist in AZ. She was so mad that my treatments were all about getting me pregnant!
The doctor turns and says to me- Getting pregnant is not your problem, it is staying pregnant. I don't understand why she was not looking at you differently!
She then looks at me and says, Sweetie I want to go a TOTALLY different route. My job is to figure out WHY you miscarry not help you get pregnant.
Sweetie, I think you have an AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER. I have a best friend/colleague in California who specializes in these particular disorders and I am going to contact him and have him tell me what needs to be done and then we will go from there. I will be in contact with you in a week or so. I promise, I will have a PLAN to go forward to get you ANSWERS!
I left the office with my mother in law and we both just looked at each other in the elevator and was in shock.
I tell her- I promise she was not like that the last time
I promise I wasn't making it up that she was so rude and mean
I cant believe the change towards me and how she treated me
I cant believe that she has a different look and idea for me
I am so happy she BELIEVES me and wants to help me
As I drive home I couldn't help but think about the first experience and then the second. I then realized that she probably had a bad day and was probably frustrated that she didn't have any records.
I think I caught her on a bad day and it wasn't by accident- I needed her to be abrupt, short, curt or I wouldn't have done anything about the Depression. It was a blessing!
I got a call a couple of weeks ago about how Ryan and I needed to have some extensive blood work done. The blood work would be drawn here but needed to be sent to California to the colleague of my Doctors since he has one of the only labs here in the Western United States to do these kinds of testing. The lab lady gives me the number of the lab and tells me if I have any questions to call them. If the insurance company didn't pay for it, it would be WAY to expensive for Ryan and I to do it.
I then go to Heavenly Father and say ok- if we are suppose to have these tests done I need the insurance to pay for the tests. I then start researching what we need to have done and come across this website. It goes into detail of the tests that they are going to run and how this Doctor has developed these therapies and it has only been around since the 1990's. I then see that the Dr. was based out of California I then realize- This website is the place I am sending my lab work and the Doctor that is friends with my Doctor!
I waited over the weekend to call and Monday morning I call the insurance company and give them all the codes. My heart is pounding and I am hoping that it is a no go. Of course, the insurance company will pay for the blood work and the doctor in California is covered by the insurance as well.
This past Thursday Ryan and I went and had the blood drawn and I FEDEX the blood work overnight to the Dr.'s office in California. We should know the results by the end of the month.
They are looking at cellular immunity in me and tissue typing with Ryan and I. It all has to do antibodies.
Here is the website: If you want more information
http://www.rialab.com/miscarriages_prevented.php
Read the first part of the page and the when you are finished with the part about Immune System scroll down to
Antinuclear Antibodies
the part above this one is not me. I have been tested for that and I don't have that particular problem. Everything Else below Antinuclear Antibodies is however what they are looking into and seems to be right on.
It is VERY technical so I had to read it a couple of times.
As I dropped off the blood work on Thursday I sat in my car and cried! I was so overwhelmed by the spirit. I am 99.% sure that this is my problem. I am excited to FINALLY have answers but I am so very scared and nervous about the treatments that will entail if this is my thing. The treatments are not easy and very scary. It entails blood transfusions and lots of needles.
On a positive note, the treatments have VERY high success rate. 80% of the women who have this problem after treatment carry a baby to full term and have their dream of being a mother fulfilled.
I know that it cant be by accident that I felt prompted to go and see that OBGYN again and it is NOT by accident that the OBGYN just happens to be Best Friends with this doctor who specializes in what just might be wrong with me.
I am going down YET another road! I feel that this journey just keeps going and going and going.
Sounds like the ENERGIZER BUNNY!!!
I keep praying for lots of comfort, peace, and extra faith to be just like that pink bunny so that I can
KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING until the road ends and I can get that little one in my arms that has tried so many times to come to this earth and who I feel is being so patient as I strive to do all that I can to bring him here.
At times I wish I had the easy way, I wish I could be like most people I know who look at one another and get pregnant. I had hoped that this weekend would have brought me news of being pregnant so I wouldn't have to continue on!
I am so tired and somewhat emotionally drained.
But
It is not my plan. For some reason I am meant to not be pregnant yet and I need to continue down this road.
The next 10 days are going to be LONG and I pray that they will go fast! If you have a chance during the next few weeks please say a prayer for me. I will need it.
Not knowing is making my heartache and my head worry. I pray for the spirit to uplift and carry me.
I will keep you posted once I get the results and next steps!
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xo <3 MUAH