A look BACK at 2010

I thought it would be a GOOD idea to go back through the year and document some of the blessings and fun things that transpired for Ryan and I in the year of 2010. As I start a new year I thought it would be good to remember the good, exciting, fun, and bad to realize and appreciate what has all transpired.

JANUARY:

Ryan and I took off the 8th of January 




From our Beloved Arizona Cortina area and embarked on an adventure that we had no clue what was in store for us. We left with NO jobs and NO idea of the future and left going on FAITH that it was what we were supposed to do and TRUSTING that we would someday know why.

We took a mini vacation to get up to Seattle. We stopped in Seal Beach and stayed with family.

Then took off for Sacramento to see friends:

Then we were off to San Fransisco. We met my good friends from Las Vegas there.

Nicole and I at the Tiki Bar

The Golden Gate Bridge

Our little Family in front of the Golden Gate

We then took off for Oregon. We had such a great time driving up the Oregon Coast! It was breath taking! Nothing like I have EVER seen!






Then we got to Seattle and were blessed with a BEAUTIFUL sunny day to drive in and was overwhelmed by the beauty of Mt. Rainer and even though I was sad and worried about what was to come. I felt PEACE!



FEBRUARY:

We were enjoying the BLESSINGS of being around family. We shared a couple of Birthdays right away and it was so nice to be close to our niece and nephew. Ryan started coaching the Boys Basketball team at church and we were beginning to feel settled.

I got a job right away in Early Intervention in Tacoma. Blessings of finding a job so fast was so appreciated. We were so thankful.

We had our hopes and dreams dashed again when we were told NO on the adoption of a sweet little boy in Chicago. After 8 miscarriages we thought we should try the road of adoption and whole month of January we worked hard on getting things started to adopt and then the end of Feb we were told no. I cried and cried and cried. Ryan too. Even though yet again our hopes for a baby were put on hold I felt peace.

Shortly after we were told NO. I found out I had Celiac's Disease and had a Candida problem.

I was given a new hope to help my body heal and maybe this would be the answer to why I have been struggling with infertility. When one door closes a window is opened.

MARCH:

I struggle with being on the GLUTEN free diet and SUGAR free diet and try to make the adjustment. Ryan and I love to try new restaurants and eat out together and that was really put to a stop due to not knowing how to have self control to the things I truly loved. I start seeing a Colon therapist pretty regularly to help with problems that have occurred from eating Gluten. I see so many blessing from these treatments and feel so blessed by Heavenly Father.

We went and did a lot of fun things in Seattle. Road the ferry, went to Pikes Market place and the Body Exhibit.

Ryan still had no luck with work but we kept pushing forward.

APRIL:

We celebrated Easter with family while watching Conference. It was such a great time to reflect about the Savior and be thankful for all he has blessed us with. It was really nice to be around all of Ryan's family.


Ryan and I took a day and went up to the Tulip Festival. I had never seen something so beautiful! We had such a fun time together.

MAY:

I start working Full Time and continue to LOVE my job. Ryan started substituting at Eatonville Highschool but nothing on a permanent job just yet.

I am caught off guard with the news that Ryan's brother and wife and three kids in Canada are coming in a week instead of July and I have to mentally prepare myself very quickly for everyone to be here. I am humbled and thankful for what happened while everyone was here and thankful for the change of heart, mind, and the overwhelming LOVE that occurred while they were there. I needed that to happen and needed to face those feeling to get over my issues.

We took family pictures and had a wonderful time

We celebrated Mother's day and I learned that when you serve someone else it makes you lose your own cares and sorrows. It was the BEST Mother's Day I have had in a LONG time!

We celebrated our 7 year anniversary. I called it our LUCKY 7. We spent it downtown Seattle for two days and had a BLAST with one another! Now looking back on that post. I REALLY believe that it has been our LUCKY 7 year.



JUNE:

June was a month where my spirits were low. We had been in Seattle for 6 months. I had been on the Gluten Free diet for 6 months and still had not seen any results of a baby. I felt we had gone backwards in our lives. I lost the LIGHT and FAITH for a little bit. I think it was really here where the first hints of Depression were really starting to settle in.

We celebrated Ryan's 29th Birthday. I surprised him with golf lessons and we spent the day in Seattle. I am thankful for him and all the things we have been able to do together in the seven years we have been married.

JULY:

We took off to Oregon and spent the 4th of July Weekend with our dear friends from AZ. It was so fun to be with them again. Oh how we miss being with them and for Haydeez to be with his family too. It was just the reunion that both Ryan and I needed! We then got back on the 4th in time for us to see the fireworks with family. It was FREEZING and so very depressing to me that the 4th of July was in the 40's! So very wrong in so many ways!

Our sweet puppy Haydeez turned 1. It was hard to believe what he has done for Ryan and I! We appreciate his sweet little spirit and how he has helped heal both of our hearts.





AUGUST:

Ryan Surprises me with my 30th Birthday Present a little early and we go to HAWAII! It was the BEST trip yet that we have done together! It was just what BOTH of needed! It was AMAZING and I didnt want it to go back home!

 
After we get back from our trip we both feel it is time to get our own place and try to make things work. Ryan was hoping to get substituing opprotunities since school would be starting soon. We both felt it was right and asked for help to try to find the right place to where we should live. We found a nice apartment in a nice area and little did we know how PERFECT it really was till a few months down the line.
 
SEPTEMBER:
The day before I turn 30 I find a grey hair! It occurs to me that I am getting old and the stress of life has taken a toll on me!

The one nice thing of my birthday that three years in a row it falls in the LABOR day weekend spot. Ryan and I spent the 3rd of Sept at Lake Tapps and enjoyed the last and only few days the summer had in the 80 degrees. We then spent the night at the baseball game and had the traditional birthday dinner on Sunday at his parents.
 

I find out that I FINALLY have my CANDIDA problem undercontrol! After 8 months of being on the sugar free diet I am finally free to eat SUGAR! It was such a relief. I went and got me a Gluten Free chocolate Cookie and enjoyed EVERY bite!



Ryan starts looking for night jobs and lands a job at a 5 star Hotel in Seattle valeting. He started working 3:30- 12 every night except Wed and Sun the end of September and it ends up being such a blessing to help us stay a float since subbing for schools didn't happen. Ryan spent most of August going to interviews and being told he was professional, would be a great asset to their team BUT they want someone with more EXPERIENCE. It was so hard to see him turned down over and over so when he got this job it was a sweet TENDER mercy for Ryan.

OCTOBER:

Ryan gets called to be the Ward Executive Secretary. I am happy for him but I knew it would be really busy for him and I was already struggling with not seeing him very much and now the only day I would see him he would be busy all day on Sunday.

My health took a turn for the worst and I let everyone in on what was going on with me in the mind, spirit, and physical. I had been sleeping  a LOT, losing hair, and loss the desire to do much of ANYTHING! After moving into our own place I didnt have to pretend for anyone anymore. I was free to be me when I was home and it took me down into a terrible spiral. I had taken care of all of my Physical problems and now it was time to deal with mental.

I was diagnosed with Depression. With the help from the guidance of Heavenly Father started seeing someone to help address all my packed away emotions and a MIRACLE started to occur. I found myself again! I started LIVING again after so many years of PUTTING on the HAPPY face and PLAYING the part that I knew everyone wanted to see and then when alone let the REAL me out. I pushed the RESET button and started looking at LIFE as I should. Started realizing that I had a purpose and plan that was SPECIAL and MINE and it was ok to be where I am in life and ok to not be a MOTHER. I started to do something that was just for me- DANCE.

NOVEMBER:

Felt the need to see the MEAN OB again and she LED Ryan and I down a PATH that NO doctor has taken over the past 6 years. We did some heavy blood work and we were blessed with ANSWERS!!!

I had to many NK cells and Ryan and I shared a DQ ALPHA Genotype. With this news brought such comfort after so many years of not knowing why we couldnt have a baby even though we could get pregnant. We had to wait though for what these results meant and how we were going to fix it. It was the LONGEST few weeks!

It SNOWS! I end up having a FULL week off with the snow and the HOLIDAYS! It was CRAZY! Haydeez gets to experience the WHITE STUFF.

Had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving with family. I was missing Seal Beach and the ocean but it was nice to spend it with his parents and brothers family

DECEMBER:

I have the most INCREDIBLE experience with getting my medical records and my FAITH is again renewed that we are going in the right direction and the news of our problems is going to be addressed and most possibly be fixed!

My faith in following Promptings is increased 10 fold and I am blown away with how much he is in control of our lives and experiences that we have. I get answers to our new findings and we are given the BIGGEST HOPE we have EVER had in all the years we have been trying to have a family! A plan is set in place for the following year and my hopes and dreams seem reachable.

I usually HATE XMAS and dont want to do anything but sleep- BUT this year Ryan and I really got into what we could get others and really had a GREAT time together buying gifts for our loved ones. I was so EXCITED for XMAS and to spend it with family that it was SHOCKING me! I truly BELIEVE it was the blessing of the RESET button and the hard work on accepting me for me and being ok with where I am at.

Not to say I am perfect at it yet. I had WAY to many SURPRISE MERRY XMAS we are pregnant cards this month and finding things out on Facebook and I would be untrue to myself if it didnt have a little affect on me because I am tired of being the ONE to ALWAYS be happy for others rather then they be HAPPY for me because it is my turn BUT I need to keep focused on the FUTURE and realize my day will come! So with a little down moment I always pick myself up and continue to truck forward. How can u not?

Spent New Years Eve with my sweet dog. Ryan worked and didnt want me out on the roads. I had wanted to meet him downtown but the roads had been pretty bad this past week and so he didnt want me out. I had last week off and spent most of my time with Ryan. It was so nice to be with him after the past three months barely seeing him. I really like staying home. I so look forward to that day.

2008 was a year of Many changes with ryan done with school and starting a new business.

2009 was a year of letting people in, gaining more DEAR friendships that were meant to be, having 6 of the 8 miscarriages in our many years of trying, finding out more of a purpose of my job, getting our sweet Haydeez and leaving a business and a place we both loved.

2010- Now that we are Back at January again and to think that we have been here for 1 year it blows my mind with what has occurred. We left not knowing why. I thought it was for Ryan! I was so OFF by that one! The move was MORE for ME! I needed to be here to address so MANY of my HEALTH reasons starting from FEB. and going ALL the way to DECEMBER! Who would have thought? My heartaches of the thought if I hadnt listened to the overwhelming feeling that we needed to move! Where would we be NOW if we had stayed? Would those blessings of all the findings occurred? I wrote a post last December and the title was:

Faith is Works and that Means CHANGE! As hard as it was to CHANGE I am forever GRATEFUL for the Hand of GOD in Ryan and my Life to bring us to this point! It was hard and at times my heart still aches to be with my friends in AZ but I WOULDNT change what has transpired while we have been here this past year!

I go back to normal tomorrow. I have been trying to make EACH day this week last as LONG as it could. I didnt want to miss a thing cause I didnt want to go back to work. Last night a friend asked me how I was doing.

I had to tell her the truth. All day I had been thinking about how I was feeling and couldnt keep a smile off my face and stop this aching in my body to have this new year started. As much as I am a little nervous on what I need to do these next few months I cant EXPLAIN this feeling that I have inside of me. It is so hard to describe other than a PULL and YEARNING for what is coming.


2011-My goals this year:

1. I want to continue to do the things that invite the spirit and help me to recognize sweet prompting. Scripture study, prayer, and temple attendance are Key and I want to do A little MORE than what I have done in the past years

2. I want to continue to have my OUTLOOK on life to be a POSITIVE one. Keep being GRATEFUL for where I am in life and EMBRACING my PLAN. TRUST in his WILL and have an even more increase in FAITH.

3. Be better physically. My body needs constant exercise to stay emotionally where I need to be. I want to be stronger and in good shape. Also with eating. Try more homemade GLUTEN free recipes and strive to continue to better my health.

4. I want to be an EVEN better FRIEND and FAMILY member to those around me and those to whom I dont see very often.

As we take on another year and strive to make it even better than the last I cant help but be thankful for all of you and the blessing each and everyone of you have had on my life!

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR and that 2011 brings many BLESSINGS your way.