The LATEST and GREATEST
Can you believe that it is June? Where is the time going? Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote! Waiting things out was the right decision and even though it took a little while it has been so sweet to go forward together.
A week before our 9 year anniversary Ryan came to me ready to find out what we needed to do. Ready to seek answers and then go forward in faith. Thursday May 17th we went to the temple and both left feeling that we needed to go back to the doctors and go forward with what he suggested.
I called the next day to get an appointment. They could see us Wednesday May 23rd. Perfect! Two days later I found out that my dear college roommate had passed away and the funeral would be the 23rd of May in Salt lake City. I of course had to cancel the long awaited appointment to be there for my friends. The funeral was really hard. It was so hard to see my friend in the casket at such a young age. I was so sad feeling like I could have done more to help her! She was hurting so bad inside and turned to things to take the pain away that ended up taking her life. I know she is at peace right now but at times I feel guilty for not doing more. It was good to see my roommates again. I wish it could have been under better circumstances. We had not all been together since the reunion back in 2008. I am so blessed to have gone to Dixie and meet these girls and to be still friends after 14 years!
I got back to Vegas on the afternoon of the 24th of May the actual day of our wedding anniversary. Ryan had booked the suite at THE HOTEL at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. It was just what I needed after a long emotional few days. I had mentioned to Ryan that I had made an appointment again for the 5th of June at 4. He reminds me that he cant go to that since he starts school on the 3rd at 4 and will be in school M-W till the beginning of July! DANG IT! I have to call yet again and reschedule. We have such a great LONG weekend. We went to the WYNN buffet ( my favorite) they have 80% Gluten Free stuff even dessert! As I walked around the dessert area I see a sign that says CONTAINS NO GLUTEN OR NUTS and below it is a beautiful BROWNIE! I swear the last time I was there that this brownie was NOT gluten free but I got excited that they must have figured out how to make it GF and grab it run to the table to tell Ryan and gobble it down. It was SOOOOO GOOOD! He leaves to get his crepes and comes back with this smile on his face.
UM BABE- the sign says CONTAINS GLUTEN and NUTS. No it doesnt!! UM YES IT DOES!! I get up to go prove him wrong! I walk back to the brownie section and YUP, it says CONTAINS NUTS and GLUTEN! WHAT THE HECK!!!! I must have had BROWNIE GOGGLES on because I SWEAR!!! It said what I thought it said! Needless to say it didnt ruin our night but my tummy was not happy at me!
The next day we went to the pool and Ryan and his brother Drew went in the wave pool and hung out. It was cooler so I was not about to get into the water. We had a nice time with Ryan's brother as he was headed back to Seattle the next morning.
Monday morning I call the doctors office to ask to yet again switch my appointment. They told me he had a 4 on the 7th. Wow! Perfect! I'll take it!
Ryan's mom was coming in on Wednesday to go up to Manti for a wedding of a dear family friend. All of us including Haydeez was very excited to see her! It was just shy of a week since the last time I saw her. Hard to believe that a year has gone by since I left Seattle.
Thursday June 7
I dont know why but I was so nervous. We were both hoping that our plan to go forward to do IUIs first would go over well with the doctor instead of doing IVF. I have 6 free paid IUI's with my insurance. We wanted to do that first before trying to pay for the IVF.
I just have to say Dr. Sher is the sweetest, kindest, and most real doctor I have ever come across in the FERTILITY field. He sat us down and point blank said what are your plans? I asked if he could explain things in more detail again for Ryan since it had been hard for me to do all the details and I thought it might be good for him to hear it from the doctor. Dr. Sher goes over everything so well and Ryan understands. I ask him if it was possible to do the IUI's first since I have insurance for those.
He sighs, and tells me that he will do whatever we choose to do but he told me that I will be on heavy cortisone shots, the inter-lipids infusions, hormones, and the shots for blood clotting, for 6 months straight to a year with a HOPE of a 7% chance that I might get pregnant with the correct sperm. He told me it will be so EMOTIONALLY draining and so PHYSICALLY hard on the body. He said with so much LOVE- If you are going to do this you NEED to do it the BEST way.
The BEST way is IVF. You will be doing all those shots for the IVF and then if it doesnt work take a break and try again where the IUI's is a constant. With the IVF the I can pick the right egg and implant and the percentage is 34%. Again- You NEED to do the BEST way.
He looks at Ryan and Ryan agreed. Dr. Sher then asked- What is keeping you from going forward. At this point I start to cry. He jumps up grabs the tissue box and tells me it is ok. I hold back tears as I tell him the financial piece is what holds us back.
He paused as he looked at me for a little bit and then said, You look so much like my daughter! She too had the same problems as you did. I was of course able to help her. My heart tugs at your sorrow right now.
He then begins to tell me of a Foundation that he started called From INSIID of my Heart. He tells me it is a foundation that helps couples who cannot afford IVF but it is their only hope to have a baby. He tells me to write and call the head woman. He gives me her number and email. He tells me to tell her that he sent me to her and to get all the information that will be needed to apply for the IVF scholarship. He told me if I were to get this done and turned in right away we would know in 2-3 weeks and then could meet again and get going. He then tells me that he wants us to have a baby and he wants to be the one to help. He said there will be NO more tears of sadness but in the end there will be tears of happiness because there will be a baby!!! He stood me up from the couch and gave me the biggest hug! He then says again as he wiped a tear, you are so much like my daughter. We thank him and leave. We both know that there is a possibility that we wont be picked by the committee to be a candidate for the scholarship but there is HOPE! We both agreed our second choice would be to go to a bank and take out a loan. We both felt so strongly this is the path we are go to.
I go home and write the lady that night. She writes me back the next day telling me that she too has had 4 miscarriages due to the problems I have and had a baby boy 17 years ago by Dr. Sher. She told me I was in such great hands. She then gave me the information and the website to start the application. I wrote her back and thanked her.
I look over the website www.INCIID.org very thoroughly. It states you have to turn in W2's, last 2 check statements, the last 2 tax returns, a letter of your story of why you should be picked, a letter from the doctor referring you as to why the only option is IVF, financial documents, medical releases, and a picture of the two of us. The process can take up to 6 months to a year. I was a little bummed at that but as I was reading I found out that once the committee picks the couple then they have to find a doctor in the area who will be willing to give their time, talents, and money to do the IVF for free for the couple that was chosen. I then realize that if we are picked Dr. Sher will do the IVF treatment for us for free. What a blessing from Heavenly Father if we get picked!
I worked on the application all last week. The last thing I needed was the letter from Dr. Sher. He sent it to me on Thursday stating if the committee picks us then he has already agreed to do the treatment for free. I sat and cried as I read the letter over and over. If we get picked what a blessing it would be! What a sweet doctor to do this selfless service for us!
We sent in the Application Friday morning. It is now a waiting game. I am not sure how long it will really take. Dr. Sher said 2-3 weeks. The website said 6 months to a year. I am hoping we meet somewhere in the middle.
If we get picked pick I have to raise $3,500 dollars in donation that will go to the foundation. They want us to take a part in the process. The money will go towards the foundation. I am not very good about asking for money. If we get chosen I will pray for the courage to go forward with asking from friends and family.
I have my ups and downs about the situation. I NEVER thought I would have to do IVF. I always told myself that I WOULD NEVER do it! I am scared OUT OF MY MIND!!!! Everything that goes with what I have to do is so overwhelming. The IVF process alone is a lot but the added things like the infusions make me want to run and hide! I feel my soul being torn in two! One side of me so excited that this just might get picked and we could do this for free and have my baby! The other side of me cries out that THERE IS NO way I can go forward with all that will be asked of me for the process!
One thing is for sure I will need lots support to go forward. I am crying as I write this. I cant believe that this is my path. I just wish I could be the normal girl who could try and then it happen. So many people the past few weeks are announcing their excitement of expecting. Oh, how I wish it could be me and by a simpler way.
My lot is not so. For whatever reason I must do it this way. I am thankful for technology that allows this to happen. Dr. Sher told us that if we had married two different people we would not have this problem. I wouldnt pick anyone else though. We are in this together! Thank goodness we live in a time where this is possible. Our issues can be worked with and we can have a baby together.
One thing I know for sure. When you go through hard things there is a greater reward! A chance to grow even closer to the Savior. I will definitely need him more than ever!
Thank you friends and family for your love, prayers, and support. I will keep you posted as to when we find out if we are picked for the IVF scholarship.
A week before our 9 year anniversary Ryan came to me ready to find out what we needed to do. Ready to seek answers and then go forward in faith. Thursday May 17th we went to the temple and both left feeling that we needed to go back to the doctors and go forward with what he suggested.
I called the next day to get an appointment. They could see us Wednesday May 23rd. Perfect! Two days later I found out that my dear college roommate had passed away and the funeral would be the 23rd of May in Salt lake City. I of course had to cancel the long awaited appointment to be there for my friends. The funeral was really hard. It was so hard to see my friend in the casket at such a young age. I was so sad feeling like I could have done more to help her! She was hurting so bad inside and turned to things to take the pain away that ended up taking her life. I know she is at peace right now but at times I feel guilty for not doing more. It was good to see my roommates again. I wish it could have been under better circumstances. We had not all been together since the reunion back in 2008. I am so blessed to have gone to Dixie and meet these girls and to be still friends after 14 years!
I got back to Vegas on the afternoon of the 24th of May the actual day of our wedding anniversary. Ryan had booked the suite at THE HOTEL at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. It was just what I needed after a long emotional few days. I had mentioned to Ryan that I had made an appointment again for the 5th of June at 4. He reminds me that he cant go to that since he starts school on the 3rd at 4 and will be in school M-W till the beginning of July! DANG IT! I have to call yet again and reschedule. We have such a great LONG weekend. We went to the WYNN buffet ( my favorite) they have 80% Gluten Free stuff even dessert! As I walked around the dessert area I see a sign that says CONTAINS NO GLUTEN OR NUTS and below it is a beautiful BROWNIE! I swear the last time I was there that this brownie was NOT gluten free but I got excited that they must have figured out how to make it GF and grab it run to the table to tell Ryan and gobble it down. It was SOOOOO GOOOD! He leaves to get his crepes and comes back with this smile on his face.
UM BABE- the sign says CONTAINS GLUTEN and NUTS. No it doesnt!! UM YES IT DOES!! I get up to go prove him wrong! I walk back to the brownie section and YUP, it says CONTAINS NUTS and GLUTEN! WHAT THE HECK!!!! I must have had BROWNIE GOGGLES on because I SWEAR!!! It said what I thought it said! Needless to say it didnt ruin our night but my tummy was not happy at me!
The next day we went to the pool and Ryan and his brother Drew went in the wave pool and hung out. It was cooler so I was not about to get into the water. We had a nice time with Ryan's brother as he was headed back to Seattle the next morning.
Monday morning I call the doctors office to ask to yet again switch my appointment. They told me he had a 4 on the 7th. Wow! Perfect! I'll take it!
Ryan's mom was coming in on Wednesday to go up to Manti for a wedding of a dear family friend. All of us including Haydeez was very excited to see her! It was just shy of a week since the last time I saw her. Hard to believe that a year has gone by since I left Seattle.
Thursday June 7
I dont know why but I was so nervous. We were both hoping that our plan to go forward to do IUIs first would go over well with the doctor instead of doing IVF. I have 6 free paid IUI's with my insurance. We wanted to do that first before trying to pay for the IVF.
I just have to say Dr. Sher is the sweetest, kindest, and most real doctor I have ever come across in the FERTILITY field. He sat us down and point blank said what are your plans? I asked if he could explain things in more detail again for Ryan since it had been hard for me to do all the details and I thought it might be good for him to hear it from the doctor. Dr. Sher goes over everything so well and Ryan understands. I ask him if it was possible to do the IUI's first since I have insurance for those.
He sighs, and tells me that he will do whatever we choose to do but he told me that I will be on heavy cortisone shots, the inter-lipids infusions, hormones, and the shots for blood clotting, for 6 months straight to a year with a HOPE of a 7% chance that I might get pregnant with the correct sperm. He told me it will be so EMOTIONALLY draining and so PHYSICALLY hard on the body. He said with so much LOVE- If you are going to do this you NEED to do it the BEST way.
The BEST way is IVF. You will be doing all those shots for the IVF and then if it doesnt work take a break and try again where the IUI's is a constant. With the IVF the I can pick the right egg and implant and the percentage is 34%. Again- You NEED to do the BEST way.
He looks at Ryan and Ryan agreed. Dr. Sher then asked- What is keeping you from going forward. At this point I start to cry. He jumps up grabs the tissue box and tells me it is ok. I hold back tears as I tell him the financial piece is what holds us back.
He paused as he looked at me for a little bit and then said, You look so much like my daughter! She too had the same problems as you did. I was of course able to help her. My heart tugs at your sorrow right now.
He then begins to tell me of a Foundation that he started called From INSIID of my Heart. He tells me it is a foundation that helps couples who cannot afford IVF but it is their only hope to have a baby. He tells me to write and call the head woman. He gives me her number and email. He tells me to tell her that he sent me to her and to get all the information that will be needed to apply for the IVF scholarship. He told me if I were to get this done and turned in right away we would know in 2-3 weeks and then could meet again and get going. He then tells me that he wants us to have a baby and he wants to be the one to help. He said there will be NO more tears of sadness but in the end there will be tears of happiness because there will be a baby!!! He stood me up from the couch and gave me the biggest hug! He then says again as he wiped a tear, you are so much like my daughter. We thank him and leave. We both know that there is a possibility that we wont be picked by the committee to be a candidate for the scholarship but there is HOPE! We both agreed our second choice would be to go to a bank and take out a loan. We both felt so strongly this is the path we are go to.
I go home and write the lady that night. She writes me back the next day telling me that she too has had 4 miscarriages due to the problems I have and had a baby boy 17 years ago by Dr. Sher. She told me I was in such great hands. She then gave me the information and the website to start the application. I wrote her back and thanked her.
I look over the website www.INCIID.org very thoroughly. It states you have to turn in W2's, last 2 check statements, the last 2 tax returns, a letter of your story of why you should be picked, a letter from the doctor referring you as to why the only option is IVF, financial documents, medical releases, and a picture of the two of us. The process can take up to 6 months to a year. I was a little bummed at that but as I was reading I found out that once the committee picks the couple then they have to find a doctor in the area who will be willing to give their time, talents, and money to do the IVF for free for the couple that was chosen. I then realize that if we are picked Dr. Sher will do the IVF treatment for us for free. What a blessing from Heavenly Father if we get picked!
I worked on the application all last week. The last thing I needed was the letter from Dr. Sher. He sent it to me on Thursday stating if the committee picks us then he has already agreed to do the treatment for free. I sat and cried as I read the letter over and over. If we get picked what a blessing it would be! What a sweet doctor to do this selfless service for us!
We sent in the Application Friday morning. It is now a waiting game. I am not sure how long it will really take. Dr. Sher said 2-3 weeks. The website said 6 months to a year. I am hoping we meet somewhere in the middle.
If we get picked pick I have to raise $3,500 dollars in donation that will go to the foundation. They want us to take a part in the process. The money will go towards the foundation. I am not very good about asking for money. If we get chosen I will pray for the courage to go forward with asking from friends and family.
I have my ups and downs about the situation. I NEVER thought I would have to do IVF. I always told myself that I WOULD NEVER do it! I am scared OUT OF MY MIND!!!! Everything that goes with what I have to do is so overwhelming. The IVF process alone is a lot but the added things like the infusions make me want to run and hide! I feel my soul being torn in two! One side of me so excited that this just might get picked and we could do this for free and have my baby! The other side of me cries out that THERE IS NO way I can go forward with all that will be asked of me for the process!
One thing is for sure I will need lots support to go forward. I am crying as I write this. I cant believe that this is my path. I just wish I could be the normal girl who could try and then it happen. So many people the past few weeks are announcing their excitement of expecting. Oh, how I wish it could be me and by a simpler way.
My lot is not so. For whatever reason I must do it this way. I am thankful for technology that allows this to happen. Dr. Sher told us that if we had married two different people we would not have this problem. I wouldnt pick anyone else though. We are in this together! Thank goodness we live in a time where this is possible. Our issues can be worked with and we can have a baby together.
One thing I know for sure. When you go through hard things there is a greater reward! A chance to grow even closer to the Savior. I will definitely need him more than ever!
Thank you friends and family for your love, prayers, and support. I will keep you posted as to when we find out if we are picked for the IVF scholarship.
Comments