8 years
This weekend marks the annual year of when Ryan and I decided that it would be time to begin our family. It was General Conference weekend and I remember the excitement that I felt to think that it was time for me to finally be a mom!! Something I have wanted to be from when I was a little girl.
Of course as we all know, it didnt happen right away. I remember sitting with Ryan's Aunt and Uncle in their ward in Orem and his Uncle Matthew leaning over to me and pointing to a couple that was holding a new baby boy. He tells me, they had been trying for 7 years and they finally got their miracle! Dont give up, it will happen. At that point we had been trying for 2 years with no success and I thought in my head..............7 years!!! No way, I could NEVER endure that long, I could NEVER handle that, THAT WONT BE ME!!! Little did I know that it would be me and I would I actually surpass that!!
How quickly time goes by when you are having fun! ;) For those of you who are not of our faith we sit down twice a year and watch what we call General Conference. It is where the whole church gathers to hear the Prophet of our Church and his Apostles speak to us. They give us council, uplift us, and teach us. I look forward to it every 6 months to have my spirit renewed and the ability to go on a little longer. Usually when this time of year comes around it can be hard as it is another constant reminder that another year has come and gone and I am still searching for answers, feeling alone, and trying to hold my head up high as I am still enduring what has seemed the LONGEST trial of my life!!! This year has been different. I have had a lot of tender mercies come my way and the light at the end of the tunnel ACTUALLY seems very BRIGHT.
I loved President Eyring's talk: It was on relying on the LORD's time and not our time. The past year I have really tried to do that. I am not perfect and had hard days but for the most part I tried to STOP controlling the situation I have been placed in. As much as I wanted to be the one in control and thought I was.................the reality of it is..............I am not. If I want to truly do HIS WILL I must render to his TIMING. I must say, the times that I have stopped trying to be the one driving and placed myself in the passenger seat, I have had my eyes opened to his tender blessings and have been shown how much he is aware of me, loves me, and knows me.
In preparation for the Event that Ryan and I held on the 28th of Septmeber. I found myself getting over whelmed very easily as the task ahead of me and seemed sometimes I dont know how this is going to work.
I did a lot of praying and trying to follow the promptings of the spirit. I got up out of the driver seat and placed myself in the passenger seat and went along for the ride!!! We had the place where it was going to be held. I sent out the FACEBOOK invitations, I had sent letters to family members, now the biggest worry for me, decorations and table stuff.
I was told that my old ward was doing a Super Saturday and I should show up and pass out my flyers. I pulled up that Saturday not wanting to go, feeling so stupid that I was there. I felt dumb saying, Hi, I havent seen you in a little while but please come to my event and give money. I sat in my car in the parking lot crying as I prayed, Heavenly Father, I dont know why I am here, I feel that I am suppose to be but I am scared to go in! Please let this be ok, Please let me know why I am suppose to be here and Please give me the courage to walk in.
I opened the door and walked into the church. Everyone there welcomed me with hugs and open arms. It was lunch time so they had just sat down. Tracey Long the owner of the house we were doing the event at started passing out my flyers and telling everyone. Everyone was so excited and asked if they could help with anything. As I sat and mingled I looked down at the table and there was the cutest black and white table cloths in black and white. I leaned over and said these would be PERFECT!! Oh, lets go ask Shelly if we can borrow them. After a short conversation I had table cloths and most importantly center pieces for all the tables donated by a dear friend from the ward. I walked out of the church with tears in my eyes. I no longer had to worry about spending hundreds of dollars on vases, flowers, table cloths, ect.....They were all taken care of and all for free. I knew it was not by accident I was there. It was a blessing I could see by following the promptings of the spirit and going along for the ride.
A few days later I was getting ready to go to bed. It was late. I had been up since 5 and it was 11. As I climbed into bed the feeling came over me to get up and write Dr. Sher and invite him to the event. What? Right now? I am tired. I again began to climb in but the feeling was so strong, GET UP and WRITE HIM NOW! I have learned now that when I am told I need to do it. So I went to the computer and wrote him telling him I would love to have him there and would like to see if he could make it. It was August 28th that I wrote him so it would give him a months advice notice. The next day I get an email from his scheduler telling me Dr. Sher was VERY interested and was thankful for the invite. He has a busy month in September but with this much time he would be able to make it and would LOVE to be there.
Ok, now Dr. Sher is coming!! WOW!!! I am so honored and excited. OH GREAT, now I really hope people will come!!!! I think that was my biggest fear. My insecurities always get the best of me. I am sure people were so sick of my status posts of the count down till the event but I tried to give a slight reminder not to forget me and if some how they could come that they would.
The Sunday before my parents call and my dad lets me know that they looked at the seats for my mom to fly standby and there is room for her. She would come and help set up and be there. It was so nice!! I had not expected that. It was great to have her there and be able to meet everyone. It was nice to have her there to help set up and get things ready.
As time got closer for the event to start my phone was blowing up with texts and calls of last minute cancellations I went into the pantry at the home which was like a bedroom and started to cry. I was like, WHY do I have to do this?!!!?? What if no one comes and Dr. Sher is so disappointed in me!! I already have 15 people not coming that said they would!! I cant do this!!! This peaceful feeling washed over me and I instantly was comforted and the thought was, It will be all right.
I put on my big girl pants and remembered that everything had so beautifully fallen into place how could it not go well? This whole ordeal was put together with his help why would it fail. 7:00 came and people began to come in. By 7:40 the place was packed and Dr. Sher and his wife showed. up. Ryan and I took a few minutes each to talk. I was so scared I didnt get to say the things that I wanted to say.
I wanted to tell everyone that ever since I was a little girl all I wanted to be was a mom. When that time came to try to have that dream come true it did not come the way that I had wanted. In fact it has been a hard thing. One of great disappointments and physical pain. I had a plan that I thought was best but the Lord had a better plan. He had a plan for me to be able to help other children that he loved and their families and while I did that he lead Ryan and I to many different states to prepare us for the next level of treatment. Each move we learned and grew and met amazing people along the way. The part of our journey brought us back to Vegas with those loved ones who have been with Ryan from the very beginning of this trial who were there with us that night. We were brought back to Vegas to be blessed with the BEST doctor and one that would know how to help. It was such an emotional night as I looked around and EVERY single person there was someone that I held dear to my heart. Ryan spoke as well and got choked up as he knew there were many who wished they could have been there but couldnt due to being out of state and the love and support that had been shown to us from afar.
Dr. Sher spoke and my heart was touched. He is a spiritual man. A man who knows that God is in charge. A man who knows that he tries to do his best with his clients but in all the reality is if the couple gets pregnant it isnt beause of Dr. Sher it is because God wanted them to. He has delievered over 17,000 babies and has blessed the lives of so many couples. He talked about the foundation and what a great cause it is for couples like Ryan and I. He told one of my friends that when he met with Ryan and I in his office there was this glow around us and he couldnt deny the feeling that he needed to help us. I am so thankful that he is so intune with the spirit. I am so thankful Heavenly Father brought me back to Vegas so that we could have him.
As he left that night, he gave us hugs and told us to call the office on Monday and to set up an appointment to get started. My heart leaped with joy! This is real!! This is happening. OH MY GOODNESS!!!
What a wonderful night the 28th of September was. I will NEVER forget it. We had about 80 people there and everyone had such a great time.There were some who traveled far and were there for just that night. I am so grateful and touched!! Ryan and went home and counted the money raised and I still get teary eyed thinking about it since there were so many generous donations. Everyone gave so willingly and because of it we raised 2,290 dollars towards the goal of 3500. My heart was so full and couldnt believe it. Both Ryan and kneeled down that night and gave a prayer of thanks. It was such a blessing.
I still dont know what the total amount is that we have raised. I have not heard from the head lady. I am hoping with the online donations that we have made the 3500 dollars or even surpassed it. I have given up checking every second for the email. If the Lord allowed such a successful night I know that the letter will come as well.
I went to Dr. Sher's office on Monday and set up an appointment with him on Wed at 4:30. I got to see him and personally give him my thank you card. He hugged me and said, cant wait to get started!!! I know we need at least 8 weeks to get all the treatments in before we can get started. I know he is scheduled only 1x M for IVF and December 3rd is the last one of the year. I have felt strongly for the past few months that the 3rd is when we would do it. Wednesday morning came and I was so excited around 9 I get a call that they need to cancel and reschedule due to an emergency procedure. I was so bummed, but what could I do? We pushed it back for the 9th of October. I text Ryan to let him know but he texts me back I have meetings that afternoon and evening I cant. I call Dr. Sher's office and they bump it back even farther to the 16th of October. It doesnt feel right. I feel like we shouldnt have that date but what could I do? I knew if we went in at that time then we would not make the 3rd of December deadline. I said a prayer crying for peace and left it to him. About 20 minutes later I receive a phone call yet again from Dr. Sher's office. Sorry Karmann but now the emergency appointment has for some reason been cancelled. Dr. Sher is still available this afternoon if you would like to come in. I knew it was not by accident. I knew we were suppose to be seen.
We meet with him and he tells us how wonderful the event was and how happy they were to be there. He tells us that he is Jewish and has the same strong beliefs of family and community. He then says, AND YOU GUYS are OBVIOUSLY MORMAN! He tells us he wants to shoot for the 3rd of December and we would meet with the team and go over details. He tells us that he believes in prayer. He asked us to tell our friends and family members to PRAY for him! Pray for him to be guided to pick the right egg that is best for my body. He told me to tell you guys to PRAY for him to be inspired and then if it doesnt happen then we have done all that we could and it was not GOD's plan. I had tears falling down my face! What a blessing to be sitting across a doctor who believes in prayer, asks for prayers, and wants to be inspired. I know that we are in good hands and I too believe that prayer works and if it is meant to be than it will happen.
We are penciled in for that date but it is not set yet. We still have to wait for the acceptance letter from INCIID the heart foundation. He needs to have it by the end of October so that I can begin the follow up treatments that are needed before December. I pray that there has been a big enough out pour of online donations to have made the 3500. I have no idea who has donated or how much. It is all about having faith and trust and seeing what happens.
It goes back to the talk I spoke about earlier. If I have faith in him then I have faith in his timing. I have faith that all will work out according to his plan. I am along for the ride!
Thank you again to those of you who have donated on line or were able to come and donate in person. We are truly grateful. Here are some pictures from the event. Blogger is TERRIBLE about uploading so I only did a few. If you want to see all of them go to my facebook page and they are all uploaded.
I hope to post soon of the official approval until then please keep us in your prayers!!! Love you all!!
Of course as we all know, it didnt happen right away. I remember sitting with Ryan's Aunt and Uncle in their ward in Orem and his Uncle Matthew leaning over to me and pointing to a couple that was holding a new baby boy. He tells me, they had been trying for 7 years and they finally got their miracle! Dont give up, it will happen. At that point we had been trying for 2 years with no success and I thought in my head..............7 years!!! No way, I could NEVER endure that long, I could NEVER handle that, THAT WONT BE ME!!! Little did I know that it would be me and I would I actually surpass that!!
How quickly time goes by when you are having fun! ;) For those of you who are not of our faith we sit down twice a year and watch what we call General Conference. It is where the whole church gathers to hear the Prophet of our Church and his Apostles speak to us. They give us council, uplift us, and teach us. I look forward to it every 6 months to have my spirit renewed and the ability to go on a little longer. Usually when this time of year comes around it can be hard as it is another constant reminder that another year has come and gone and I am still searching for answers, feeling alone, and trying to hold my head up high as I am still enduring what has seemed the LONGEST trial of my life!!! This year has been different. I have had a lot of tender mercies come my way and the light at the end of the tunnel ACTUALLY seems very BRIGHT.
I loved President Eyring's talk: It was on relying on the LORD's time and not our time. The past year I have really tried to do that. I am not perfect and had hard days but for the most part I tried to STOP controlling the situation I have been placed in. As much as I wanted to be the one in control and thought I was.................the reality of it is..............I am not. If I want to truly do HIS WILL I must render to his TIMING. I must say, the times that I have stopped trying to be the one driving and placed myself in the passenger seat, I have had my eyes opened to his tender blessings and have been shown how much he is aware of me, loves me, and knows me.
In preparation for the Event that Ryan and I held on the 28th of Septmeber. I found myself getting over whelmed very easily as the task ahead of me and seemed sometimes I dont know how this is going to work.
I did a lot of praying and trying to follow the promptings of the spirit. I got up out of the driver seat and placed myself in the passenger seat and went along for the ride!!! We had the place where it was going to be held. I sent out the FACEBOOK invitations, I had sent letters to family members, now the biggest worry for me, decorations and table stuff.
I was told that my old ward was doing a Super Saturday and I should show up and pass out my flyers. I pulled up that Saturday not wanting to go, feeling so stupid that I was there. I felt dumb saying, Hi, I havent seen you in a little while but please come to my event and give money. I sat in my car in the parking lot crying as I prayed, Heavenly Father, I dont know why I am here, I feel that I am suppose to be but I am scared to go in! Please let this be ok, Please let me know why I am suppose to be here and Please give me the courage to walk in.
I opened the door and walked into the church. Everyone there welcomed me with hugs and open arms. It was lunch time so they had just sat down. Tracey Long the owner of the house we were doing the event at started passing out my flyers and telling everyone. Everyone was so excited and asked if they could help with anything. As I sat and mingled I looked down at the table and there was the cutest black and white table cloths in black and white. I leaned over and said these would be PERFECT!! Oh, lets go ask Shelly if we can borrow them. After a short conversation I had table cloths and most importantly center pieces for all the tables donated by a dear friend from the ward. I walked out of the church with tears in my eyes. I no longer had to worry about spending hundreds of dollars on vases, flowers, table cloths, ect.....They were all taken care of and all for free. I knew it was not by accident I was there. It was a blessing I could see by following the promptings of the spirit and going along for the ride.
A few days later I was getting ready to go to bed. It was late. I had been up since 5 and it was 11. As I climbed into bed the feeling came over me to get up and write Dr. Sher and invite him to the event. What? Right now? I am tired. I again began to climb in but the feeling was so strong, GET UP and WRITE HIM NOW! I have learned now that when I am told I need to do it. So I went to the computer and wrote him telling him I would love to have him there and would like to see if he could make it. It was August 28th that I wrote him so it would give him a months advice notice. The next day I get an email from his scheduler telling me Dr. Sher was VERY interested and was thankful for the invite. He has a busy month in September but with this much time he would be able to make it and would LOVE to be there.
Ok, now Dr. Sher is coming!! WOW!!! I am so honored and excited. OH GREAT, now I really hope people will come!!!! I think that was my biggest fear. My insecurities always get the best of me. I am sure people were so sick of my status posts of the count down till the event but I tried to give a slight reminder not to forget me and if some how they could come that they would.
The Sunday before my parents call and my dad lets me know that they looked at the seats for my mom to fly standby and there is room for her. She would come and help set up and be there. It was so nice!! I had not expected that. It was great to have her there and be able to meet everyone. It was nice to have her there to help set up and get things ready.
As time got closer for the event to start my phone was blowing up with texts and calls of last minute cancellations I went into the pantry at the home which was like a bedroom and started to cry. I was like, WHY do I have to do this?!!!?? What if no one comes and Dr. Sher is so disappointed in me!! I already have 15 people not coming that said they would!! I cant do this!!! This peaceful feeling washed over me and I instantly was comforted and the thought was, It will be all right.
I put on my big girl pants and remembered that everything had so beautifully fallen into place how could it not go well? This whole ordeal was put together with his help why would it fail. 7:00 came and people began to come in. By 7:40 the place was packed and Dr. Sher and his wife showed. up. Ryan and I took a few minutes each to talk. I was so scared I didnt get to say the things that I wanted to say.
I wanted to tell everyone that ever since I was a little girl all I wanted to be was a mom. When that time came to try to have that dream come true it did not come the way that I had wanted. In fact it has been a hard thing. One of great disappointments and physical pain. I had a plan that I thought was best but the Lord had a better plan. He had a plan for me to be able to help other children that he loved and their families and while I did that he lead Ryan and I to many different states to prepare us for the next level of treatment. Each move we learned and grew and met amazing people along the way. The part of our journey brought us back to Vegas with those loved ones who have been with Ryan from the very beginning of this trial who were there with us that night. We were brought back to Vegas to be blessed with the BEST doctor and one that would know how to help. It was such an emotional night as I looked around and EVERY single person there was someone that I held dear to my heart. Ryan spoke as well and got choked up as he knew there were many who wished they could have been there but couldnt due to being out of state and the love and support that had been shown to us from afar.
Dr. Sher spoke and my heart was touched. He is a spiritual man. A man who knows that God is in charge. A man who knows that he tries to do his best with his clients but in all the reality is if the couple gets pregnant it isnt beause of Dr. Sher it is because God wanted them to. He has delievered over 17,000 babies and has blessed the lives of so many couples. He talked about the foundation and what a great cause it is for couples like Ryan and I. He told one of my friends that when he met with Ryan and I in his office there was this glow around us and he couldnt deny the feeling that he needed to help us. I am so thankful that he is so intune with the spirit. I am so thankful Heavenly Father brought me back to Vegas so that we could have him.
As he left that night, he gave us hugs and told us to call the office on Monday and to set up an appointment to get started. My heart leaped with joy! This is real!! This is happening. OH MY GOODNESS!!!
What a wonderful night the 28th of September was. I will NEVER forget it. We had about 80 people there and everyone had such a great time.There were some who traveled far and were there for just that night. I am so grateful and touched!! Ryan and went home and counted the money raised and I still get teary eyed thinking about it since there were so many generous donations. Everyone gave so willingly and because of it we raised 2,290 dollars towards the goal of 3500. My heart was so full and couldnt believe it. Both Ryan and kneeled down that night and gave a prayer of thanks. It was such a blessing.
I still dont know what the total amount is that we have raised. I have not heard from the head lady. I am hoping with the online donations that we have made the 3500 dollars or even surpassed it. I have given up checking every second for the email. If the Lord allowed such a successful night I know that the letter will come as well.
I went to Dr. Sher's office on Monday and set up an appointment with him on Wed at 4:30. I got to see him and personally give him my thank you card. He hugged me and said, cant wait to get started!!! I know we need at least 8 weeks to get all the treatments in before we can get started. I know he is scheduled only 1x M for IVF and December 3rd is the last one of the year. I have felt strongly for the past few months that the 3rd is when we would do it. Wednesday morning came and I was so excited around 9 I get a call that they need to cancel and reschedule due to an emergency procedure. I was so bummed, but what could I do? We pushed it back for the 9th of October. I text Ryan to let him know but he texts me back I have meetings that afternoon and evening I cant. I call Dr. Sher's office and they bump it back even farther to the 16th of October. It doesnt feel right. I feel like we shouldnt have that date but what could I do? I knew if we went in at that time then we would not make the 3rd of December deadline. I said a prayer crying for peace and left it to him. About 20 minutes later I receive a phone call yet again from Dr. Sher's office. Sorry Karmann but now the emergency appointment has for some reason been cancelled. Dr. Sher is still available this afternoon if you would like to come in. I knew it was not by accident. I knew we were suppose to be seen.
We meet with him and he tells us how wonderful the event was and how happy they were to be there. He tells us that he is Jewish and has the same strong beliefs of family and community. He then says, AND YOU GUYS are OBVIOUSLY MORMAN! He tells us he wants to shoot for the 3rd of December and we would meet with the team and go over details. He tells us that he believes in prayer. He asked us to tell our friends and family members to PRAY for him! Pray for him to be guided to pick the right egg that is best for my body. He told me to tell you guys to PRAY for him to be inspired and then if it doesnt happen then we have done all that we could and it was not GOD's plan. I had tears falling down my face! What a blessing to be sitting across a doctor who believes in prayer, asks for prayers, and wants to be inspired. I know that we are in good hands and I too believe that prayer works and if it is meant to be than it will happen.
We are penciled in for that date but it is not set yet. We still have to wait for the acceptance letter from INCIID the heart foundation. He needs to have it by the end of October so that I can begin the follow up treatments that are needed before December. I pray that there has been a big enough out pour of online donations to have made the 3500. I have no idea who has donated or how much. It is all about having faith and trust and seeing what happens.
It goes back to the talk I spoke about earlier. If I have faith in him then I have faith in his timing. I have faith that all will work out according to his plan. I am along for the ride!
Thank you again to those of you who have donated on line or were able to come and donate in person. We are truly grateful. Here are some pictures from the event. Blogger is TERRIBLE about uploading so I only did a few. If you want to see all of them go to my facebook page and they are all uploaded.
Dr. Sher and is beautiful wife
The beautiful backyard
the tables
the decorations
Ryan and I
I hope to post soon of the official approval until then please keep us in your prayers!!! Love you all!!
Comments
Okay I have a.question. You get pregnant, but can't carry your baby past eight or ten Weeks right? When you say for Dr cher to pick the right egg, your saying pick your egg right?? Sorry maybe that's a dumb question.
We will continent to fast and pray for you guys and Dr cher. We love you guys, hang in there Karm! Such a blessing your.doc believes in God.